Im in a Fix, I don't know if I can get out of it
by Jude-Elizabeth-Quincy2010
Summary: She's in a fix and its because of him.  Can he fix it, or better yet will she let him.  Im not sure how long I want to keep this going, It might just be a two shot, depending on what you guys think.  R&R.
1. Chapter 1

I'm in a fix and I don't know if I can get out of it.

Her point of view.

Walking down the street she noticed things she normally wouldn't, A mother holding her child close afraid that the world would break the little girl, a homeless man ragged and old, begging for change.

She walks down this street wondering how this could even happen to a person. How it can just change them, and no one ever even realizes.

Walking into the dark alleyway to meet him, she gives him 100 in exchange for the stuff she needs.

She leaves and returns to her car. Never has she been caught and really she never thought that she could be, She wont.

Going back to her empty apartment and putting the bag on her table spilling out the contents, and quickly using only half of them.

Suddenly everything seems brighter, colors blending together. No thoughts are going threw her head because nothing right now matters.

Its a fix everyday, every morning, until it wears off and she has to get more.

She's been doing this for 2 years now. See he came back, with a daughter and a wife, along with there bosses daughter.

She never thought that he of all people would do that to her, and all he had to say was, "I'm sorry," and " you'll understand when your older."

She goes to work everyday, seeing him, its the same each time, He tries to talk to her, and she stares at him like he's retarded and waits for him to leave.

Seeing him everyday since he came back, made her resort to this kind of treatment of to herself.

She does this right under her sister and her sisters husbands noses. Its funny how someone who says she is so close to you, doesn't even see you slowly killing yourself.

A knock at the door, has her standing and slowly, wobbly, walking to the door and opening it, not even caring who it is.

See when he came back those 2 years ago with a wife and child it killed her feelings, or what she had left of them.

When he left her after she turned 17, she lost it, ended up leaving the party she was supposed to be at and went to visit her favorite Cowboy. While there she got wasted, led to her room by a "friendly" guy, where he took pictures of her naked and drunk and then took advantage of her, or what everyone else says, Raped her.

Looking at the person in front of her, she had a hard time figuring out who it was, looking at the leather jacket and polo shirt he had on with the dark blue jeans, and the scent of cologne, aftershave, and cigarettes. His hair styled up with gel, god forbid if he looked bad. Realizing who exactly it was, she tired to shut the door in his face, but he stopped it with his hand, and slipped into her room.

He saw the mess on her table, but she didn't care, he didn't own her and he definitely was not in her life anymore.

He stood there, questioning her, asking her why she would ever do this to herself, that nothing was ever worth this, but she knew, knew that he was worth this.

His point of view.

He didn't know her anymore. She let herself go, she looked like the same girl, always dressed to impress, but her attitude toward everyone was just down right scary sometimes.

She acted like the queen, like the world owed her, and maybe it did. When he came back, with a wife and child, he saw the life that was left in her die.

See he never got to explain to her. He was, or is, being blackmailed into marrying that girl and that if he didn't the media would find out about the child.

He never really thought about the women he was marrying, he pictured the one in front of him the whole time.

He would try to speak to her, coming in and waiting for her in her own specialized studio. Sitting with her and trying to talk to her but realizing it was going to be a one sided conversation.

He wishes he could tell her everything, but under contract he can't say anything. It would jeopardize to much.

He still misses her though, There late night studio times, and picking her up early in the morning to take her to work and make a special stop to starbucks just for her to get her her favorite coffee.

Seeing, what was on the table and just knowing, or well wondering how long it had been going on, or happening.

He kinda has a clue to when it started, when he first came home, the next day she came in and looked high as ever, but he thought it was just from no sleep.

He never pictured he doing this, not his girl. She just wasn't that type of girl, or wasn't, now thats a different story.

He picked up the rest of the stuff that was left, her yelling at him to put that down, that it was hers and she needed the fix, and walked into her bathroom and emptied the contents into the toilet, and flushed it.

When he was in his band he got into this stuff luckily he had friends who helped him get out of his fix, and that is what he is going to do with her, help her out of her fix.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Deux.

I'm in a fix and I don't know if I can get out of it.

His Point Of View.

Watching her everywhere she goes, I feel like a stalker, like a predator. But its too keep her safe. Or thats what I keep telling myself.

Maybe I am just doing this to be closer to her. I'm not sure. I've missed her so much, Its been so long.

And to just, somehow, Someway, get closer to her it makes me feel good, like its me and her against the world again. Except its not really like that.

But from what I've been watching she hasn't done anything since I was at he apartment. Maybe she really has cleaned up her act.

I've noticed at work she's been really moody lately and that usually means two things, she either has her period or she hasn't done drugs in a while.

I'm hoping for the second. It's not like I don't want her to get her period, cause if she didn't I'd be worried about other things, but when she gets her period, head for the hills.

No, seriously, she is like a spit fire, worse than Sadie when she gets told she can't go shopping.

Ever since I've found out about the drug issue, I've been spending more time following her around then paying attention to my wife and daughter.

Can you blame me though, I mean, I never wanted a wife or child, and I've always wanted her so I choose what I want.

Really I don't care as much with my kid. I adore her, I really love her. But I wish it was me, my daughter and her not who I'm with.

Her Point Of View.

He thinks I don't know he's been following me. Seriously I'm drugie not stupid. Hell I'm a lot smarter than he is, atleast I graduated High school.

I don't know, knowing he follows me around, I think it gives me a sense of security. Something that only he used to give me.

Now that he's been watching out for me, I see him more often. Its making those feelings I had for him spring up again, and even though I've tried so hard to push them down or far from me the just wont go away.

I need him. I want him back, as my producer, and my friend, But I shouldn't succumb to my desires, I shouldn't but I probably will.

I know nothing can happen with us, because of his wife, and oh does that ever pain me. I wanted to be the girl he got married to and had babies with.

I've always questioned myself since he returned, was I not good enough for him and Whats do wrong with me that he didn't want to be with me.

She doesn't deserve him. They don't have the same chemistry he and I have. We're not a spark we're the whole dame fire.

We're like the fire you build when your out camping, and when we kiss or touch that fire expands into a forest fire that could cover the whole earth, and perhaps it does.

I, for his sake, have not done drugs since he was at my house. I want to clean up my act, but just for him, well maybe a little for myself, but mostly for him.

I have gotten moody a lot lately, its from the withdrawal of the drugs, or maybe its from withdrawal from not being as close as I was with him. When it gets too hard maybe he'll hold me.

I'm starting to look clean to. My eyes aren't as blood shot anymore and I don't have dark circles around them, and I gained a little weight back. Since I started using drugs I lost 25 pounds which left me at 95.

Maybe I will let him help me, Maybe it'll be good for me and him, and be good for myself too.

A Thank you too:

squinTfrown- Thank you for the review. I planned on continuing but I'm just not sure to how far I want this to go. Also I'm glad you liked it.

Tommys21- Thank you for the review.

And

OMGITSKEL- Lol. Thank you for the review. And no its not weird that you like when jude does drugs in stories, we all have our favorites. I like when jude gets pregnant and tommy says he'll help her take care of the baby, or ones where tommy himself, kidnaps jude.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter trios

I'm in a fix and I don't know if I can get out of it.

Her point of view.

I've been clean for a month now, I'm sleeping and eating better.

He and I are actually not trying to kill each other now, we're on speaking terms you could say.

I wish we were more than that though, but I can't get to close due to his family.

I don't want to be another "travel agent" that he screws and rips apart his family.

Just like my father. I haven't seen my mother since that, when she ran off with don. I have been getting post cards though, from different places in Europe.

I don't want to do that to their family, especially not to that precious little girl. She's too innocent to witness something like that.

Plus if his wife is anything like my mother and she would take off on that little girl, well it would be horrible.

I wish things were different, that I never would have won instant star and met Him, but who knows I might have still met him later on.

And I guess in a sense it was better meeting him now, and knowing what I was getting into, then meeting him later and not knowing anything.

But still I can't say that I don't image what it would be like to just be with him, Physically.

Would I just be another screw like all the other whore's he's been with. Would I just be some one night stand, a lay, a fuck and then leave.

I imagine not. I mean the spark between he and I is so great that I doubt that I could ever be a one night stand.

I've always been with him mentally, we just connect.

But maybe with this whole wife and daughter thing, maybe he's hiding something.

Maybe he was forced into marrying him because he fucked her back in the day and got her pregnant.

Yeah right. That's a dream in itself. That would be my fantasy cause then it wouldn't matter if I broke them up.

Plus I don't think she would do that to him. She seems so nice, well to everyone but me, but I wouldn't be nice to me either if I knew our past history.

But back to the drug issue, I've been off of them for a month and I went through tough withdrawals, but he was there to hold me.

That has been the only time he's held me since…well does being locked in a room ring any bells.

I know that the more we see each other, the more I start to build more feelings for him, the more my trust for him is rebuilding and the more I'm starting to believe in him again.

His Point Of View.

God she looks like the same old Jude now.

Well with shorter hair, she went and got it cut, but it makes her look more mature, possibly the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. And I've seen many, but as I've said many times, no one could ever compare to Jude. She has a look of her own, that no one could ever duplicate.

We've got closer, the closest we've been in a while, and I'm pleased.

I wish we could be closer though. I want to be with her.

If I wasn't "married" than I would be with her right now, I would march right into her apartment and sweep her off her feet.

Give her the attention she so deserves, give her the love and tenderness that I never got to give her.

I know that time will come soon, and I have it all planned out, down to the last detail.

As soon as I get this marriage gone and out of the way, cause I don't want to "be" with Jude, have my "wife" find out, and do something rash. Especially with our little one. I couldn't imagine hurting the little one.

That's why I haven't done anything yet, in sake of her.

I know that the more I hang around her the more she starts to feel for me again. I can see it in her eyes when she looks at me.

I'm so proud of her too she's been off of the drugs for a month now.

I wonder if I should get her a gift or something.

Hmm…Maybe I'll go to the store now.

Her Point of View.

Slowing opening my eyes, I realize I've been sleeping for an hour now.

I get up slow, and stretch, my arms, my legs, and my back.

And then I hear a pounding at the door.

I hope its him.

Except when I opened the door it wasn't him, but guess who it was.

My drug dealer.


	4. Chapter 4

I'm in a fix and I don't know If I can get out of it.

Chapter 4

His point of view.

So I decided to buy her a star necklace and bracelet.

She's always liked stars, her ring for example. She's had that since she was ten, how it still fits her I'll never understand.

So I went out and bought her a $50 necklace and a $50 Bracelet.

I hope she likes it. I got it made especially for her, cause not only on the bracelet is there a star but a guitar and the date of the first day we met.

The first day we met it wasn't exactly sparks. I told her that I could care less about her stupid contest that I was here for a friend.

Its not like there wasn't any sparks, like going to the lake together or her kissing me in her dressing room and the vinyl place, which I would have kissed her back but it was at the wrong time.

I was just mad to see that she wasn't a fan. I mean come on everyone was a fan, but she just disliked me so much.

Looking back now, She and I, we had some really good times together, and some not so good times together.

Her sixteenth I would have given anything to take back what I did to her that night.

I kissed her because I just couldn't contain my feelings anymore.

She stood there green dress, make up running, dripping wet and cold yet she still looked beautiful in my eyes.

She asked me why she kept falling for there guys that kept hurting her and I'm pretty sure she hinted I was one of them.

I wanted to say something, anything, but when I went to she cut me off, saying that guys say the nicest things that she's so great and so nice but that none of them wanted to date her and then she asked me to tell her what she could do to fix it.

At the moment everything was running through my mind. I wanted to show her that someone actually did want her, to show her that someone needed her.

And I did. I told her that she was asking the wrong guy and then I grabbed a hold of my coat that I gave her to wear and I kissed her.

At that time I realized how much I just wanted to be with her, but then everything came back at me ten fold, when I realized how old she was and why it couldn't happen.

And then later, after I blew off some steam I found her and made her promise it never happened.

I can see that at that time I thought it would be good to not have a relationship like that but now, god, I wish I would have taken the chance, the risk.

But back to reality, I'm here at Jude's, well outside on the sidewalk day dreaming, with everyone looking at me like I'm insane.

Walking into the building and to her apartment door.

That when I hear it a scream and a crash.

Her point of view.

Ben invited himself right in, not ever caring if I said he could come in or not.

So he takes a seat of my couch, grabbing the remote and flipping through the channels.

He asks me why I haven't been coming to get my orders.

And I tell him that I finally just want to be off that stuff, that its hurting me, my life, and everyone around me.

He tells me that I just can't quit like that.

And I tell him that he doesn't own me.

And he tells me that I have stuff pre-ordered so of course he owns me.

And I tell him that I'll pay for it but that I just don't want it.

And then that's when he pulls out a knife, jumps over the couch, knocking over a lamp.

I of course let out a curdling scream, running to my room and locking the door.

That's when I hear yelling and pounding on my apartment door.

I know its him hear to save me, but how do I get to him.

Suddenly I hear a thud outside my door and him telling me it was okay to come out.

When I do I see Ben cringing on the floor with a knife sticking out of his side this was a close call, but how many other drug dealers are going to come after me?

I see him and I run into his arms and bury my face in his chest, as he calls the police.


	5. Chapter 5

Not even a week later and another drug dealer came after me, John.

He bought from Ben so of course he was pissed off that we put him in the hospital and in jail.

Let me tell you a big protective man never looked so good right now, glad I have one.

He's always here, just for me. He sometimes brings his daughter but never has a thought in his head about his wife.

And sometimes it makes me wonder.

Does he really love her?

His daughter is so beautiful though, no trace of the mother on her.

You can definitely tell she's his daughter.

Black hair, the bluest eyes you could ever see, and a smile that would make a person faint.

I'm not sure what I'm doing with him.

I couldn't help take care of his kid.

I mean I'm good with kids but you see me, I'm in no shape.

I love kids though, I can't wait to start a family of my own.

Sometimes I wonder what they would look like.

But ever since the first attack and this one this week he's been taking care of me.

Like a little kid that just fell off his bike for the first time.

He's there being my guardian angel, my protector, my god.

I couldn't survive without him.

He makes me a better person, changes me back to who I was once.

I actually wrote a song the other day, not that anyone will know.

It's about him. As I once said he is my inspiration.

But the song is about how I wish I could be with him again.

I just know that as soon as I sing it to someone there going to know who it's about.

I can't have anyone knowing I'm still in love with him.

He does have a wife, could you image that court hearing.



His point of view

I stayed with her last night.

She doesn't think that I knew she wrote a song.

But I do, and I read it.

I know that's invasion of privacy, but I just had to know what she was thinking.

It's about me. Not to be cocky, but I can just tell it is.

I know we should get back together, it's always been me and her.

But I have a wife and a daughter.

A wife I don't even want to be with.

That contract is almost up two more weeks and she'll have half of my money I've saved up.

And then she'll be out of my life.

I feel as if something will be missing.

I mean she is taking my daughter and I did get attached to that little girl.

I love her so much, maybe I can talk that woman into giving me my daughter for more money.

I'm sure she would, money hungry bitch.

But anyways I was thinking the other day what her and I's babies would look like.

Would they have blonde hair or black, maybe brown?

They would have the bluest eyes anyone would ever see.

I guess you could say Tom Cruise's and Brad Pitt's kids would have nothing on ours.

Could you imagine they would be so talented.

Soon, very soon, She and I can start our family.


	6. Holding the story

I at this time will not be updating for at least a month. My mom just passed away so I just…I'll continue when I can but now just isn't the time.

Sorry.


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